Staring Down the Throat of 50

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At the end of the year, I’ll turn 50 and I’ve been thinking for a while that it’s probably getting close to time to reinvent myself. While I’ve done some work in that direction during the COVID shutdown, I’m lately feeling like I should get a move on. Time waits for no one and all that. So I started thinking about the things I’d like to accomplish in the coming decades.

And then I started thinking about what version of myself this will be.

If I think about it too closely, Lance 1.0 was my childhood and probably all the way into my university days. Small and large upgrades and changes happened here and there as I grew towards becoming my own person.

Lance 2.0 would have booted up the moment I decided I was finished with higher education for the time being and followed my fiancée (now wife) to a new city to start what would become my retail career.

Lance 3.0 would likely be the earlier husband and father days, guiding me through the experience of married life and having small children, and lasting until my final departure from retail after more than a decade of successive positions from frontline to manager to support crew.

Which would make Lance 4.0 the version change when I moved into the Gaming Industry in 2005, growing and learning, adding new skills and experiences. Somewhere in version 4, I got back to Martial Arts, began to take my writing a lot more seriously, and figured out a lot of things about myself and the world. (My kids, I’ll always be figuring out as they’re on their own journeys.) I’ve taken my career farther than I expected to and had a lot more learning experiences along the way than I really could have asked for. I’ve worked with and for a lot of great people, and a much smaller number I’m happy aren’t in my life these days. I feel like I’m version 4.9X right now and we’re due for a major version change.

Which means the question becomes, what do I want to be when I grow up?

The natural extension, once that’s answered, turns into, what’s the path I need to follow to get there?

Or, to stay with the metaphor, what will Lance 5.0 look like and what upgrades are needed to start that version?

I’m starting with a list of all the things I’ve ever wanted to be in my life, no matter how crazy or out there they might be. The next step will be to figure out which of those appeals to me most, and it may be more than one, to make the next phase of my life as meaningful as I can. Then the basic path. Then all of the steps needed to reach those goals, making sure I let myself sightsee and take detours along the way, because it is at least as much about the journey as the destination, and the destination may only be another sign post along the journey. In fact, it probably is. There will always be more things I want to do and see and try.

<flexes brain muscles> Let’s see what comes next.

Stay safe and be well, everyone.

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