Compulsive T-Shirt Reading

I’m a compulsive t-shirt reader. If there are words on your t-shirt, I want to know what they say. If there are graphics, I want to understand those, too. If there are both, I need to work out what they mean together.

(I’m also a compulsive tattoo reader. Same thing, but less applicable at the moment and I’m very careful not to stare.)

Not long before the end of Winter term classes, I walked past a young fellow on campus who ware a plain white T-shirt with red lettering small enough that all the words fit on one line. The words read, “I can’t have sex all the time.”

Hold onto that thought for a moment.

I’m at a point in my life, and have been for a while in this regard, where I believe that everything I wear says something about me. Having that belief means I’m very deliberate about choosing what t-shirts I own, and occasionally what t-shirt I wear on a given day. As such, my t-shirts fall into five categories. In decreasing quantity:

Science Humour
Geek Humour
Cultural References
Political Statements
Shirts that combine two or more of types 1-4.

I don’t do corporate logos of any kind.

I have control over the statement I’m making when people see me wearing a particular shirt, even if I don’t have control over how they interpret it. That will depend on their own personal experience as well as cultural background and upbringing.

Granting that I believe that the things I wear say something about me, by extension, the things other people wear say something about them. A t-shirt with words and or graphics on it is making a statement the person wearing it has control over.

“I can’t have sex all the time.” What statement underlies that?

It’s clearly intended to be humorous, the implication being that the wearer is so devastatingly attractive that everyone who sees them wants to have sex with them and so they need to head that off before it starts by stating it right up front before anyone even has a chance to talk to them. No one would actually believe that, so it’s clearly a joke.

At the same time, it’s the sort of arrogant, sexist humour that just makes me roll my eyes. In fact, if you aren’t generally into casual sexism yourself, it probably made you roll your eyes the moment you read it. I would be willing to wager that most people feel the same way.

Which means it isn’t really a joke, it’s a statement.

And that statement is, “I’m a sexist douchebag.”

I doubt he thinks of himself that way, but it’s the impression I walked on with after reading his t-shirt. Is it fair? Probably not and if I suddenly found myself in a project group with him, it’s something I’d ignore.

But I’d still be mentally putting him in a classification not far removed from the fellow who used the email: holdinmagroin69@somedomain.com and declined a job offer he’d already accepted by phone rather than provide HR with something a little more professional to send his paperwork to. That is not apocryphal. I took the phone call on behalf of a fledgling HR department.

Be well, everyone.